At first glance, you might wonder what religion has to do with American beef exports. Stay with me. It’s about to make perfect, and embarrassingly hilarious sense.

 

Recently, in a world-altering event that went mostly unnoticed outside of cattle ranchers and people who really, really love ribeye, China effectively halted imports of U.S. beef. Thanks to escalating trade tensions and retaliatory tariffs, the cumulative cost of sending a steak to Shanghai now includes a 116% markup. It no longer makes sense for China to purchase beef from the USA.

 

To make matters worse, China decided not to renew export licenses for about 300 U.S. meat processing plants after March 16, 2025. This wasn’t a gentle “let’s just be friends” breakup. This was a full-on ghosting. As a result, U.S. beef sales to China dropped to a crisp, sizzling zero.

 

This is no small loss. In 2024, China accounted for approximately 15% of U.S. beef exports — a number that now feels about as relevant as your old Blockbuster Video membership card.

 

China now gets its beef from Australia. We were replaced. A loss of $1.5 Billion for the U.S cattle industry.

 

In a moment of crisis, I did what any concerned citizen would do: I scoured the internet. Specifically, the comment sections of various news articles — the sacred, unfiltered heart of American diplomacy.

 

It was there I encountered a stream of MAGA supporters spitballing solutions with the focused energy of a drunk brainstorming session in a Walmart parking lot.

 

 

Some of you reading this already see the problem. Some of you may not. That’s okay.

 

A cursory understanding of the world’s major religions — or even a quick Google search — would reveal that roughly 80% of India’s population practices Hinduism. And for Hindus, cows are sacred.

 

As in: holy, untouchable, these-are-my-ancestors-please-and-thank-you, absolutely-do-not-grill-and-serve-with-a-baked-potato sacred.

 

Suggesting that India buy all of America’s excess beef is like suggesting you open a pork-rib shack in Jerusalem or serve steaks to Catholics on Fridays during Lent. It’s the culinary equivalent of showing up to a vegan potluck with a giant bucket of fried chicken.

 

Had these well-meaning, patriotic souls spent just a few hours studying world religions, they might have realized that asking India to solve America’s beef crisis isn’t just impractical — it would be seen as an international insult.

 

A failure to understand other people’s cultures and religious beliefs doesn’t just make you wrong. It makes you hilariously, publicly, spectacularly wrong. Worse, you might accidentally offend a billion people… and still have no one to buy your steaks.

 

We cannot hope to do business — or live peacefully — in a diverse world where the majority of people have dramatically different religious beliefs if we don’t take the time to understand them and seek common ground.